Life is busy and sometimes it’s difficult to find the time to get together so we wind up texting forever. I have a friend who just told me about this awesome man she met. Well, she hasn’t really met him yet because he travels and she’s been away for the last 3 week-ends and blah, blah, blah. Well then I say, how do you really know that he’s awesome?
I have had the exact same experience. Meet, text, can’t find time to get together. What do I do? I have a policy for that. I’ll text with somebody for 2-3 days then I make a plan, whether it’s a week or two weeks or even three weeks out, and then I stop texting until we meet. This is what works in my insanely busy life. After we meet, if it goes well, we can text, face time, chat…whatever… but I need a face to face first to make sure there’s a spark.
Find your comfort zone but just remember there are a lot of great actors out there. Trust your gut and get out there and meet people.
One of my biggest tips when using dating apps is to not text for too long. If you do, it’s entirely possible that you start to form a perception of the person you are texting with when the reality of this person, sitting in front of you can be much different (I might be speaking from experience here…). Hiding behind a text chat, it is very easy to be someone who you are not. Sometimes this is intentional. Sometimes, it is not. But the fact is that people can and often are very different when you meet in person.
So, how long is too long to text? I think that if you are having a nice chat with someone, have established that you have some similar interests and possibly the same agenda (casual dating for me) AND have either Googled them to know they are real or found them on LinkedIn (an important part of the process… you want to know the person you are meeting is who they say they are), then make plans to meet up! There is absolutely no point to chatting forever without meeting. The point of app dating is to date!
I would say that chatting for a day or two is plenty (I recently matched with a good guy, chatted that evening and met him for a drink the next evening. It worked out well.) And if that chat doesn’t not lead to a date and meeting up within a week, unmatch and move on. Don’t waste your time. Lots of men out there!
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