I refer to that all-day kind of foreplay as pre-play. It’s so important and definitely gets you in the mood. Those looks and texts and messages all get your oxytocin flowing and naturally roll into a sexual adventure. But what about when you actually start doing it? This is the foreplay I would like to talk about.
Every bit of the process can be foreplay when you are focused on pleasing another person. From the first kiss to taking off your clothes to exploring each other’s bodies. Take it slow and create the anticipation that leads to mind-blowing orgasms. Here are some tips:
Explore Erogenous Zones
Lips, breasts, nipples, genitals …all there for your adoration. Each erogenous zone deserves attention and time spent on each will be time well spent. Be careful, some people are such compatible kissers that orgasms may happen just from kissing. There are a few sexy zones you may not be aware of like:
- Lower back
- Big toe
- Back of the neck
- Inner thigh
The root of sensual is sense . Playing with your lovers senses can be so erotic. Touch can be made even more erotic when you take away another sense. Try a blindfold and experiment with other forms of touch like:
- a feather
- a strand of pearls
- a warm cloth
You get the idea. When you can’t see what’s next, the sensation is even more tantalizing.
Did you know that our sense of smell is the sense that goes directly to the memory and emotions part of our brains. That’s because the olfactory bulb is a part of our brain’s limbic system, our “emotional brain”. When you smell a scent you link it to a person or event or even a moment and it registers in your memory so that whenever you smell that scent again, you remember that person, place or moment. Ever keep your partners dirty shirt in bed with you when they are out of town? Or not want to wash your sheets after an especially sexy night of play? It’s that scent that brings us right back to the moments we want to re-create. Try and find that perfect essential oil scent for your bedroom and every time you smell it, you will smile that smile…you know the one…
Foreplay for me, starts with anticipation. I want to know when I have a date and countdown to it (I am also a planner, so last minute booty-call stuff doesn’t work very well if you want to please me).
So you have a plan, maybe a casual dinner. The foreplay can start in the middle of the day. A quick text to let your partner know you are thinking about them. Maybe a little preview conversation of what you are going to do to them in bed later… This can be naughty. Or can be as innocent as telling your partner that you have been thinking about them since you woke up this morning and can’t wait to see them.
Or text them from your bed, first thing in the morning and tell them how much you are looking forward to having them there with you later in the day. That gets the juices flowing and your day off to a great start!
Over dinner, I think eye contact is amazing foreplay. Look deeply across the table at your partner with a bit of intensity. They will feel this attention and that starts to heat things up. You can tell them with your visual contact that you have sex on the brain. Believe me, if you are thinking about it, they are going to feel it from you. I even make sure I am starting to sense pleasure. From the food I am eating, from the wine I am drinking.
After dinner, you’ll be ready for everything that is next. Have fun!
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