The quick version of how Anne & I met: Anne wanted to do a book signing at g boutique. I read her book, Sex and the Single Girl, a [Slightly Older] Girl’s Guide to Dominating the Dating World. I suggested we do an online course instead. She agreed. We’ve been working together ever since.
Prior to this occurrence, I too had never posted on a dating site. I had all of the excuses. No time, too weird, don’t trust them, know everyone in Chicago… Now, I had to try. Even if my part of the partnership was the sexed part, I had to have an authentic voice when it came to talking about the apps. So, my point is that I went on Tinder for the first time about a year ago in my mid 50’s.
What do I think? Well, surprisingly, I really like Tinder. Here’s why… My problem with a lot of dating sites is the descriptions and bios. One time at somebody else’s urging I went on JDate just to look around. I wanted to post comments on men’s profiles that said things like, No you’re not…that’s the opposite of what you are…really, is that how you see yourself? See, I knew a lot of the people and I couldn’t believe how they chose to describe themselves. I have also come to the conclusion that every single person who posts on a dating site likes to walk on the beach and have romantic candlelit dinners. Really! I have pictures in my mind of every beach in the world inundated with couples walking up and down, down and up….
I would like to see a bio that says: City guy. Don’t like to walk on sand. Dating is fun but I also love fast food and watching football on TV. You may not go for that but at least you would know what you’re getting if you did. Let’s face it, dating apps are visual. It’s a gut instinct, I like the way he looks or I don’t like the way he looks. On Tinder, you say it with pictures. Not that you can’t write about yourself, it’s just that you are encouraged to keep it brief. I think my first profile said, “I like to go places and do things.” I am 100% OK with that.
When I scroll through Tinder it’s quick and easy. For me it’s motorcycle…no; big fish in your hand…no; not smiling…no, etc. I don’t want to read an in depth autobiography. A few key words will suffice, especially if you have a specific type that you are looking for or specific things that you are into.
Another thing I like about Tinder is the geo-locating aspect. I live in a big city with lots of traffic and I have no intention of traveling out to the suburbs for a date. On Tinder I can specify that I am looking for men within 5 miles of me. And, if I am traveling, I can also meet men near where I am. Now, Tinder is free but there is an option to pay for more services. One thing that I love is that I can pay for a month and geo-locate to a city I am traveling to. By the time I get there, I have dates set up. Kind of a nice way to see new places.
As you may already know, Anne dates younger men and I tend to go for maturity. One problem on Tinder is that often the more mature the person is, the less comfortable they are with using the app. I tend to match with men who want to overchat. This is a bad idea on any app. I’m a big un-matcher. If you don’t have anything besides “hi” to say or if you start telling me about the ornaments on your xmas tree before meeting, I’m gone. When I do meet somebody who knows how the program goes, it’s usually a pretty nice person.
And did I mention it’s free? Go ahead and try it. Nothing to lose and you may gain.
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