Tushy Talk or Anal Sex for the Newbie

Some of you already closed this post, some wanted to close it but let their curiosity take over and some of you genuinely want to learn about anal sex. Let me speak to all of you, even those who aren’t here because one day they may be.

Here are the reasons we chose to post this blog:

  1. Some people are seriously interested in trying anal sex but don’t know what to do first.
  2. Some people have been asked to try anal sex but did not know enough about it to make a decision.
  3. Some people try anal play without this information and it hurts or is totally unsatisfying.

Under the banner-Knowledge is Power- we want you to go out there with enough information to make decisions and stay safe.

Need to Know

Anal sex can be a satisfying alternative for both men and women. As a newbie, this area of your body is unaccustomed to penetration and needs some TLC. Make sure that before anybody starts probing around back there they understand that:

  • You need lots of lube. Good idea to use a thicker lube than usual. Sliquid Sassy or Jo Premium are formulated for anal sex.
  • You need to start with something small, not a penis. Aneros, N’joy and Sensuelle all make great options.
  • Anything that goes in your butt needs to have a flared base.
  • You definitely need condoms.
  • If you are using your fingers you will need trim nails and a finger cot will be a wonderful help.

Why Even Try

Maybe you are curious about what anal sex feels like. Even if you aren’t, your partner may be. I am not suggesting that you should do this just because your partner wants to. I am suggesting that you should investigate the pros and cons so that you are able to have a conversation with your partner instead of shutting your partner down when the topic comes up.

How to Begin

Many women have had bad experiences with anal sex because a man tried to enter with his penis right away and sometimes without lube, OUCH!

Your sphincter muscle is pretty tight and needs some time to relax. The key to enjoying anal is a relaxed sphincter. So, start by using a lot of lube and just having your partner massage around the opening. After a few minutes you can slip a finger or a small toy in and then just leave it there for a couple of minutes until the muscles relax even more. Anal sex is a time commitment and shouldn’t be rushed. After this try 2 fingers or a little bigger toy. No penis until you are fully relaxed. And, even then, if you feel any sharp pain, stop and regroup.  Take your time, it may take a few weeks before you are ready to try anything more than a couple of fingers.

As you can tell by these instructions, it is best to try anal sex with a lover you know and trust. It’s those first time, late night after a few drinks, tries that turn people off forever.

Plugs, Beads and P-Stim

Just a little bit about the different kinds of anal toys. Btw- all of these toys can be found with and without vibration. Without is fine but adding a little vibe just may help to relax nerve endings and muscles.

  1. Plugs- Usually bell shaped, plugs can be left in during vaginal sex to give a new and different sensation. They give you a sense of fullness and make you feel tighter than normal. Both men and women may enjoy wearing a plug during sex.
  2. Anal Beads– Since the sphincter muscle is so sensitive, pulling beads out one at a time and causing the muscle to release and contract can be stimulating. Make sure you use beads with silicone connecting them. No string.
  3. Prostate Stimulation- Men have p-spots that work similarly to a woman’s g-spot. This spot is located on the prostate. A toy meant to stimulate a p-spot is curved just like a g-spot toy but upside down. By inserting one of these toys anally and rocking it slightly side to side, you can create a deeper stronger orgasm in a man. Both Aneros and Tantus make excellent prostate stimulators.

Well, there you have it. For those of you still with us explore, enjoy and don’t forget the lube.

XO

Cheryl

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